Does a Need for Approval Drive You?

need for approval

Do you have a need for approval? Are you insecure and uncomfortable when your ideas differ from those of the people around you?

Approval addiction. It’s just as difficult to walk away from, just as habit forming and just as dangerous as heroin. It will make you say yes when you want to say no, do things you don’t want to do, and eventually lose all respect for yourself – just like a heroin addict. The thing is they don’t have interventions and healthcare facilities for approval addicts. You can’t check yourself in for a month and de-tox. The worst thing about it is that the very act of breaking free of it will cause disapproval – the thing you fear the most. (more…)

And the House Was Quiet

I recently had to put my four youngest kids in regular school. I have been homeschooling for so long (24 years) that I probably should have gotten a gold watch or something. I got nothing – except for the quietest house I can ever remember having. Seriously, my house is so quiet that I can hear the dog snore.

grandchild

The problem was that after my separation and divorce I had to do that making money thing. It wasn’t like the ex ever made huge amounts of cash so I wasn’t particularly worried about supporting the kids – it was more of my not wanting to stop spending big chunks of time with the kids. I thought that, because I work at home, I could keep up with school, housework, and my writing/editing. How freakishly ignorant was that? (more…)

Taming the Green-eyed Monster

I read a quote on Facebook this morning that really struck a nerve, or rather, a heart-string in me.

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
– Robert Heinlein

Wow. If I accept this as truth, I am going to have a lot of work to do – on myself. See, I’ve always had a secret problem with jealousy. But, after reading this quote and looking up the word on dictionary.com, I have a renewed urgency to deal with it.

photo from stock.xchng

 

I consider myself competent, as least in some areas. I am a good mother, I was a good wife (contrary to the beliefs of my exes!), and I am more than competent in my job. “Self-confident”? Now that’s another animal altogether. Somewhere along the way, back in a corner of my mind, I’ve gotten the idea that self-confidence is a bad thing – that if I come off as too self-confident, I will offend, intimidate, and alienate people. OK, so that’s another area I need to address. (more…)

When the Apple Doesn’t Fall Far from the Tree

Recently there has been a video circulating on Facebook about a man who shot his fifteen year old daughter’s computer

(after verbally letting her know how HE felt in no uncertain terms) because of a status update in which she bashed her parents in no uncertain terms.

Her language was colorful; she was obviously venting in that moment of drama and angst that only a 15 year old girl can create. I should know, I have a fifteen year old girl… and I used to be a fifteen year old girl.

The father not only video’d himself responding to his daughter’s status and shooting her computer; he posted the video on her wall for all of her friends to see.

(more…)

Guys: 5 Sexual Techniques to Make Her Wild with Desire

I wrote this when I was writing a marriage blog for b5media. guy-torsoThe blog went under, the marriage went under but the truth of this list remains. it is invaluable information to the man who wants to please his lady.

Please enjoy. :)

Between being married a long time, and also being a woman, I can tell you guys that there are certain things you can do to make your wife swoon. And you want to make her swoon, right?

Of course you do.

These techniques aren’t difficult, anyone can do them and they are some of the sexiest things I can think of…and I have quite the imagination…

So.  Are you ready?  Are you all that is man? Wipe that drop of drool from the corner of your mouth and read on…. (more…)

Why I Want a Red Sports Car

I have decided that by the end of this year I am going to buy myself a small, two seater,  convertible red sports car. I have many logical reasons for this decision.

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Winner of the Sevani Gift Certificate IS……

Wow! you guys have been awesome! Thanks so much for being part of this giveaway. Be sure to add Autumn Tapestry to your reader now that you know we are here!

sevani

Well, the winner of the gift certificate is Jade! I will be emailing you in the next two days and you will have three days to get back to me… OR if you read this you can just email me at maryeaudet[at]gmail[dot]com.

Congrats! and be sure to check back for more giveaways, more contests, more coolness…. all the time! Because we all know -

Being invisible sucks.

 

Love, Marye

Fabulous Designer Looks for a Fraction of the Price

O.k.. recently I have discovered Polyvore.
On that site I can create luscious fashions that I love… and can’t afford. Not the $200.00 outfits… I mean the $2000.00 outfits – like this one.

And then I realized I could create a knock off of that look much cheaper by using the Internet. Which may be a bad thing in the long run. (more…)

Music to Divorce By…

When I was growing up my parents had record albums (remember those?) with Mitch Miller, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and all those other romantic crooners. They would stick a stack of them on the hi-fi and we’d listen to the romantic strains of mid-century courting music for hours, especially during cocktail and dinner partiesc.

Don’t be lumiere string quartetdeceived, folks, my parents battled most of the time and although they never divorced, they had a uniquely toxic relationship. One which probably should have ended in divorce rather than creating 51 years of misery for both of them.

My marriage ended in divorce just a month and two days shy of 30 years… without much fanfare.

Well, there is no reason to let divorce pass by unnoticed anymore.

Lumiere String Quartet is releasing an album entitled Music to Divorce By just in time for Valentine’s Day. Talk about a sign of the times, right? (more…)

Things I Have Learned from my Grandchildren

I have three gorgeous grandchildren: A girl who is 5, and two boys, 4, and not quite 3. They are the children of my oldest daughter. Because of the nearly constant drama that still goes on between her and her ex-husband, I don’t get to spend nearly as much time with them as I would like. The time I do enjoy with them is fun and exhausting. (There are reasons that women don’t usually have babies after they turn 50.) It is amazing to watch the transformation as they have gone from helpless infants, to toddlers, to starting school. I love teaching, and try to squeeze some of it into our time together, from reading a book together, to reinforcing the concept of sharing. But I have to admit, they are teaching me some things as well.

My Grandchildren :)

Look at Me!

On the playground, it’s a constant cry of “Grandma, look at me!” and “Watch me! Are you watching?” They are so proud of what they are doing and want someone else to notice. They aren’t worried about being perceived as boastful or arrogant. They just want someone to watch and appreciate that they are doing something wonderful. They don’t yell at a stranger, “Hey, dude, watch me!” They get my attention, someone they love and who they know loves them. My hand-clapping and “Yay!” and “Wow!” is a simple thing that goes a long way in building the bond between us and building their confidence in themselves.
Maybe we women need to turn to someone that we know cares about us and say, “Look at me! Guess what I did today!” Sometimes just a little praise from someone is enough to get us through a tough spot or encourage us to push even harder towards a dream. You don’t have to win the Pulitzer Prize to have something to brag about. Maybe you are proud of a project you headed up at work, or you got all the bathrooms in your house clean at the same time. I’m not advocating becoming a braggart. But there is nothing wrong with sharing something you are proud of with a close friend. On the other side of this scenario, maybe a woman close to you could use some words of affirmation. You never know when your seemingly small “Atta girl” to a friend or sister may be just what she needed to get through the week. (more…)